Trying to finish column for the church newsletter...

(Lord, help me write this article.)
In Flannery O’Connor’s short story "Revelation," Ruby Turpin is sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, evaluating each person around her. Ruby judges herself to be superior, by more than a grade or two, to everyone there, especially to a poor, unkempt, teenaged wretch seated across from her who is reading a book. Ruby thinks it sad that the girl’s parents did not groom her more attractively. Perish the thought of having a child as scowling as this one. No, scratch that one.
(God, pleeease send an idea my way.)
The gospel expresses a depth of love that is more radical and more inclusive than the fragile relationships we mere mortals are ever able to create. In matters related to Christian relationships, we are always called to struggle for a depth of love and acceptance that reflects the amazing inclusivity of God's love. No, not it.
(What word, O Lord, do you want me to say for your people?)
Calling it "way better than a laptop, way better than a phone," Apple CEO Steve Jobs unveiled his company's long-awaited iPad tablet-style multi-touch device Wednesday, calling it more intimate than a laptop and more capable than a smartphone… No, no, no…definitely not.
(Perhaps you want me to write about some timely, relevant issue like…)
In the April 13, 2009 issue of Newsweek, the cover story was “The End of Christian America” stating that the “percentage of self-identified Christians has fallen 10 points in the past two decades”. No, not that’s not it…
(Prayer, reading the Bible, loving one another are topics that folks always seem to like.)
According to a Jan. 26, 2010 UMNS report “Food. Potable water. Shelter. Those are the top needs a group of 29 church and community leaders told three executives from the United Methodist Committee on Relief. Asked which is the most important, the group said all three…” No, too much…
(Of course the most popular ones are funny stories about children or bulletin bloopers.)
In Luke 4:18 Jesus said “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.”
(There he goes again with all that stuff about the poor and downtrodden, the sick, and the captives. What does he expect me to do?)
“Say that again, Lord. You expect me to do what? You’re kidding right?”